Apollonia Ponti – Relationship Coach for Men
I help men understand the mind of a woman, the healthy aspect of dating, and how to cultivate a healthy relationship with themselves and women.
I specialize in helping men understand women! I’m a certified dating and relationship coach that guides men how to master attraction, and gain confidence to be more successful in their love and business lives.
Very often we grow up not knowing how to have healthy relationships. Love is a verb and it something that requires action but a lot of times we don’t take that action to learn. Even if we had seen incredible love in our household sometimes we can still find ourselves in the wrong relationships, and especially those that never saw love in a household may have to learn what healthy love is through trial and error, experience or teaching. So, that’s where I come in.
I assist men with understanding and getting an education in love since this is something that was never taught in school That’s why a lot of people call me The Oprah of Dating.
Apolonia Ponti Interview Miami
Apollonia can you please tell me, why did you choose to work with Men?
This goes back to my personal story. As a young girl I was always attracted to love. My first memory as a young girl was me questioning my mom about love at the age of 5. I grew up in a divorced family and always wondered why love brought so much happiness and sadness.I would look at my parents and I would always say: “why are they always fighting, why is my mom crying, why is there yelling? – I thought love was supposed to bring happiness!” To me it didn’t make sense. Love was suppose to be happy! So everyone said and what the Hollywood stories told. I was so fascinated to find out more about love that I would sneak my headphones into my room and listen to Dr. Ruth on the radio till 3 am and wake up to go to school the next day. Dr. Ruth was the first sex expert/ relatiosnhip expert to be open about this topic.
At a young age I grew up with a very narcissistic and mentally ill father. Mentally he was not able to give me the support a father can give a young girl. He always tried to be in my life but he just didn’t know how to love me in the way his little girl needed. My father didn’t know how to show love because he was always seeking love when he was a child, so he never received that love from his parents. When he had me as his daughter he was showing love in the wrong places with controlling behavior, placing blame, and manipulative behavior which hurt me as a little girl. So as I grew up my relationship with my father diminished slowly even though I constantly tired. During this process I went through a lot of turmoil with men, I was in a very abusive relationship with a man, and jump from relationship to relationship. After facing this I turned inwards towards personal development and forgiveness. which helped me turn inwards to personal development, my spiritual practice as well as forgiveness. Which helped me turn my life around, forgive my father, love him for who he was, and even forgive my past relationships. I stepped out of victim and took control of my life. I started noticing that my heart was bigger than normal. I had so much compassion for the men in my past and for other men. So, I started interviewing men and really diving deep in working with both men and women.
I started developing a relationship with my father and then it started to reflect on men more. I came to a point where I started to forgive and I noticed that there was a bigger answer to the reason why I let someone abused me, why I allowed myself to be in toxic relationships. It was because I didn’t love myself!
If you had the opportunity to go back to your childhood, what would you tell your father?
I would just tell him I love him for him, I would tell him: “You never disappointed me. As a father you did exactly what you were supposed to do” because everything he did worked for me to be the best woman in my life today. He literally gave me the best lessons in life. He was the reason I found my purpose. So even though he wasn’t in my life, he gave me the most internal gifts. My passion. I think this would be very humbling for him because he did love me, he just didn’t know how to show it in a healthy way.
I feel women are more inclined to work with other women rather than to work with men, can you give us your opinion on why?
I feel that women do gravitate to other women naturally because of feminine energy and nurturing behavior many of us women have. Also, we tend to be more relatable and that’s why women choose to sometimes work with other women. I also think it comes down to how you energetically connect with someone. Also, women have been held to a higher standard our whole life so there is comfortability in understanding that without communicating that. Women want to feel emotionally and physically safe always so that’s why other women choose women because they feel safe with understanding the standards we’ve been faced with. This is the #1 healthy reason why we choose life partners.
What do you feel is the most challenging part about working with men?
As a coach, what has been the hardest thing for me is seeing the potential in somebody because I’ve seen what my work has created for people. I’ve had men book sessions with me and kept investing in themselves and change their lives around! There were so many clients that emailed me personally and told me that they were at a point of depression or suicide before talking to me and changed their life around. It gives me goosebumps thinking about this but the thing that’s hard for me as a coach working in this industry is when I see potential in someone and I see what could happen because I’ve seen this work before, I’ve done this but they just don’t know yet. You get to a point where you have to take a moment and step back and say: “this is not your life”; this is the life that they choose, you’re a tool and either they are going to pick up that tool and use it or they are going to pick up that tool and set it down. So I constantly remind myself and I think that has been one of my biggest struggles of being in this industry. It is seeing the potential and men not seeing them themselves.
What’s your advice to men on how to approach a relationship with a woman?
My advice to men is to never stop learning. There are different stages of relationships, but in general, relationships are constant investments, so even if you are not in a relationship, the relationship you have with yourself, is a constant investment.
The minute we take a set back and we dilute who we are, is the moment we lose ourselves. Every day is a new commitment to continue growing personally. My message to men is “Always invest in yourself.” If you’re trying to find the woman of your dreams or better your life, keep investing in yourself with an open heart, compassion and an authentic understanding of who you are, with integrity and understanding of your self worth will abide you to have high standards for yourself, which is huge in life, dating and love. I truly believe this is by far the principal for a successful relationship.
BOOK A COACHING SESSION WITH APOLONIA PONTI
apollonia@apolloniaponti.com
IG: @apollonia_ponti
